Monday, February 28, 2011

I hate this.
I want to be happy.
I don't want to do anything anymore. I've been spending my days in my room, not even wanting to leave my bed. I feel exhausted all the time and I've just been feeling extra down lately. I didn't sleep last night because I just felt really sad/was crying. I don't even know why, I don't have a reason for it. I just..feel bad. I don't know how to change it.
The counselor told me I'm to find something that makes me happy as "homework"..because I couldn't think of anything while there. I can't think of anything that makes me happy anymore. I don't know what I'll say. And I wish I could think of something..

Lola, I'm sorry you're drowning too. I wish I could help you<3

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I've not posted anything, or even looked at this site, in forever..but I deleted everything so I guess that doesn't matter anymore

..I spoke to my doctor..and I've my second meeting with a counselor in a week..
They've me on meds now
..I was diagnosed with depression. bulimia, and ocd/anxiety

..and I don't want this anymore.
I want this over. I want to stop hating me and throwing up everything I eat. Then I freak out after I take my meds because I want to vomit but I shouldn't if I want them to even have a possibility of working.
I'm sick of never being happy anymore.
I don't want to do anything anymore
I just want to sleep.
But I go to sleep sad and wake up sad
I hate that I started this..and now I don't know how to fix it